A Child Find specialist sat across from us, closed his clipboard, and said the words that changed everything: “Your child is autistic.”
When he was 4 years old, we were just trying to get him evaluated for public preschool. Up to that point, autism wasn’t on my radar at all. My narrow, uninformed understanding led me to view it as a ‘disease’ that needed to be ‘fixed.’ In those first weeks after the diagnosis, my life shrank down to a frantic loop of late-night Google searches, trying to master medical terminology I didn’t understand, and wondering if every delayed milestone was my fault. My mind raced with terrifying questions: What does this mean for his future? Will his siblings feel neglected because of the extra attention he needs?
Getting an official diagnosis took months. A later step in that journey is the story of what a neuropsychological evaluation actually gave us. Navigating developmental pediatricians, ABA therapists, and IEP meetings was mentally and physically exhausting. The therapy side of that search is reflected in what switching ABA providers taught us. I also shared walking into an IEP meeting: what we learned along the way.
Unlearning those initial misconceptions didn’t happen overnight, and neither did finding our footing. What actually got us through those early months wasn’t a manual or a breakthrough appointment—it was the quiet, practical anchors. It was friends showing up at our home, comforting us, praying for us, praying with us. It was family members who didn’t offer toxic positivity, just presence.
Most of all, it was time. Time to stop trying to force him into a mold and start learning how he actually experiences the world.
Today, the frantic worry has given way to something entirely different. We’ve learned to love and celebrate how uniquely he sees things—the specific textures and patterns he notices that everyone else walks right past, and the humor he brings to our family dynamic.
Now, when I sit at the kitchen table late at night, I don’t look back with the panic I felt when he was 4. I just look back with gratitude for the path that forced us to slow down and really see him.
I can’t imagine our lives without him, and I’m grateful for every moment.